Nightmare Revisited
by Sanru
Summary: It's not easy to try and hide your fears from your family. It's even harder to hide it from a brother. How can Don deal with the fear building inside him?


Disclaimer: You know the drill. No own. No sue. Do people actually read these? I've always wondered about that.

_Another plot bunny attacked me at work the other day. If my boss ever knew how much time I spent typing on my stories then actually working he would probably fire me. Oh well… What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Unless he reads turtle fanfiction. Now there's a strange thought._

_I haven't watch '_Same As It Never Was_' in ages (I think that's what its called) so some of the details are a little off but I'm sure you get the idea. I wanted to write about how Don handled coming home after that 'trip'. Also I wanted to write another brotherly fluff story between Don and Raph._

Nightmare Revisited

Brown eyes flew open to stare blankly at the ceiling above him. His breaths came in shaky gasps which seemed to fill the otherwise silent room. Even though his body remind unmoving as it had for several hours before his heart was racing at a terrifying speed. Part of his mind was telling him that it was just a dream, a nightmare, there was nothing to fear. The other part of his mind was reminding him that he had been in the future and he had seen what had happened.

He sat upright in bed and let his legs dangle off the edge of the raised platform. He knew he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep tonight. Briefly he considered heading up to the junkyard to try and find a new engine rod for Raphael's bike but quickly dismissed the idea. It was almost three in the morning and everyone had been in bed for at least an hour. He wasn't about to wake anyone else up just because he couldn't go to sleep.

He hated that he was becoming so dependent on his family and friends. It use to be he would go up to the junkyard without a second thought but since he had seen the future, been in the future, that had all changed. He was constantly watching his back, staying as close as he could to his brothers when they went topside, and adding extra layers to the lairs security. Whatever had happened to him that made him vanish in the future wasn't going to happen to him now.

He sighed and hopped off the bed landing with the barest of thumps on the stone floor. He walked across the room, readying himself for another sleepless night. He ghosted across the room heading for the door. His ninja training was almost like second nature to him now, kicking in when he really wasn't thinking about it. As he stood on the threshold of his room he just looked out over the lair before heading off to the right with a sigh.

It was the same thing every time.

As usual, Mikey's room looked as if a small bomb had gone off in it. Piles of comic books and other unknown objects were scattered over every available surface. Even the blankets piled on the bed were everywhere. Slight movement coming from the bed caught his attention. The youngest turtle mumbled something in his sleepy state as he rolled over, causing one of the blankets to fall onto the floor. For a moment Donatello just watched him sleep before turning and walking away.

Leonardo was a traditionalist and a neat freak. Everything about his room said that in large bold print. Nothing was left in piles on the floor. Everything had its own place and the room was heavily accented in Japanese culture. His pride and glory was the large paper dressing screen painted to look like it had bamboo on it. He watched his eldest brother sleep on his side with his swords resting inches away from his left hand that hung over the side of his bed. After a moment he moved toward the next and last room on the upper level.

Mikey's room was messy but Raphael's room put his to shame. Instead of a small bomb going off it was more like a nuclear bomb had gone off in there minus the vaporization part. Mikey's room had small pathways leading around the room but Raph's floor seemed to be covered in a wall to wall carpet of clutter. Don always wondered how Raph could find anything in there. He also wondered how Raph could find it comfortable to sleep in a hammock at night. After he was properly defended from the snores echoing out of the small room he turned and head for his workstation.

When he reached the workstation he wiggled the mouse to wake up the computer and turned on the desktop lamp. He typed in his password and when his desktop loaded up he clicked on the security link icon. He navigated the menus that started to come up with blinding speed. As he waited for one window to load he reached over and grabbed a pair of headphones sitting next to the monitor on the desk.

He wasn't the best at stealth and everyone knew it. Instead of waking Master Splinter by sneaking in to his room to check on him, Donatello had installed a small security camera and several hypersensitive bugs. His eyes roamed over the sleeping form of his master as he listened to the gentle snores over the headphones.

With a sigh he closed down the program and took off the headphones. He leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. Now that the voice in his head asking if his family was alive and well was gone, he truly began to feel how tired he was.

It had barely been a week since his return from the Shredder controlled future but even that brief stay in the future had affected him greatly. It was hard for him to be alone for any length of time. He was constantly watching his back, checking the shadows, and seeking out the refuge of his brothers. Whatever had happened to him wouldn't happen again.

His paranoia wouldn't have been half as serve if he knew what had happened to himself that made him vanished. He had been so busy patching together the tunneler and getting the battle droid to work that he hadn't had time to ask anyone what had happened to him. All he had was a single sentence that the older Mikey had said, "You just vanished." If that was the case this time he was going to make sure someone was there to hopefully stop whoever or whatever from taking him.

Of course, it had occurred to him that the Time Scepter had been what had happened to him but what if it wasn't? He could be grabbed in the sewers or at the junkyard or even right from his own room. No where seemed safe to him anymore. With each passing day he became more and more paranoid of everything.

He stood up from his desk and stepped up into the subway car. He knew everyone had noticed a difference in him. He was more aggressive in his sparring matches, striking first rather then waiting for the fight to come to him like usual. He was also sending more time then usual in the weight area. Mikey had even said to him yesterday that if he spent more time doing weights then in his lab again then he was going to tell Splinter that he was sick.

By far the worst thing about his situation was that he was losing too much sleep. It would only take a few minutes for the nightmares to hit and even though he knew they were nightmares it didn't help any. His overactive imagination was filling in the gaps of what had happened to his family after he had vanished. He watched the fights between Raph and Leo escalate, saw Splinter die to defend his brothers, saw how Mikey had tried and ultimately failed to keep them together, and finally watched as his brothers went off in their own direction.

All because he vanished.

He turned on the floodlights in the subway car and reached for the note pad on the desk. He could work down there for a little bit before ha had to go back up to his room and pretend to be sleeping. The last thing he wanted was for his family to find out bout his sleepless nights and nightmares. Then he would be hard pressed to not tell any one about what he had gone through on his trip through time and space.

He walked over to his filing cabinet and began searching for the file on a palm sized computer that he had been working on for awhile. He knew if he ever did talk about what had happened he would definitely break down in tears. To know that if something ever happened to him the Shredder could take over the world and his family would be destroyed. It was just so much to bear.

Nothing could happen to him!

He pulled out the folder he was looking for but before he could even think about his project a hand landed firmly on his shoulder. He whipped around, project forgotten and folder dropped with a hand balled up in a fist aimed about where somebody's head should be. With a loud slap his fist was caught by his opponent. He lashed out with his other hand only to have that one grabbed to. Another body pushed against him, pinning him to the filing cabinet. Self preservation won out over pride and he opened his mouth to call out for help only to have his assailant twist around and cover his mouth with one hand while the other hand held his wrists above his head.

_This is it_, he thought as he breathing picked up to a panicky speed. _This is what happened to me. Grabbed right out of my lab in the dead of the night by_, he opened his eyes to see who had him only to do a double take.

_Raph?_

His older brother stood there firmly pinning him against the filing cabinet. Despite the fact that he had been sleeping maybe minutes before Raph had no sign of drowsiness about him. He looked calm and patient as he waited for Donatello to calm down enough to realize he wasn't being attacked.

Don stared up into the calm brown eyes of his red mask brother trying to get his heart and breathing back to normal. He finally had to close his eyes and force himself to relax. He kept repeating to himself that it was just Raph over and over again. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Don was completely lax in Raph's grasp which seemed to signal him that Don was back among the living and not bouncing off the stars.

As his brother let go of him Don found his voice. It was embarrassing how shaky it was, "Shell, Raph. You nearly scared me out of my shell."

"I noticed," his older brother drawled as he took a step back away from him.

For a moment the two brothers just looked at each other. Ever since they were little, the two 'middle siblings' –according to Mikey anyway- had a way of communicating with out words. It was similar to how Leo and Raph silently 'talked' but different. Leo and Raph always 'talked' when they were having a disagreement that had yet to come to words or physical blows as some of their fights did. When Raph and Don 'talked' it was because something was wrong with one of them or they were upset about something and didn't want to talk about it.

Of course, usually Raph was the one who was upset, not Don. Raph wasn't sure what it was but Don had this calming effect about him. If his blood was boiling and his gasket was about to blow, one look at Don would calm him down in an instant. Raph was sure it was because Don was the pacifist in the family. His pacifistic nature seemed to ooze out of him and infect those around him.

However, this time all he was getting from his younger brother was a tense and uneasy feeling. Something was definitely wrong with him. Raphael tried to catch his eyes and was surprised that Don didn't make eye contact with him. Don always made eye contact with him even when they were just staring at each other. Since it was obvious that Don wasn't going to say anything, Raph took the initiative. "What's wrong?"

Don flinched before he could help himself. He knew that Raph had seen the flinch –he could have been on the other side of the room and seen it- but tried to act like he hadn't. "Nothing."

"Then why the shell are you down here in the middle of the night then?"

"I had an idea on a project-"

"Like every other night this week?"

Don bit his tongue. Of course, Raph would notice if he was down here in the middle of the night. The two of them were usually the last to go to bed at night. Raph probably hadn't been fully asleep when he had checked on him before. "Yes."

"Pull the other one, Donnie."

"It's none of your business!" Donatello suddenly snapped and stepped around a very startled Raph who had never heard that tone from his brother. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do." In an attempt to stay away from Raph, Don marched into the hanger. He turned on the lights and grabbed his tool bag heading for the first vehicle he saw which happened to be the Battleshell. He glanced over the exposed engine before reaching for a crescent wrench. The brakes were in the process of being replaced.

As he began to tinker inside his creation a familiar presents came to stand next to him. He was planning on ignoring him but obviously Raph had other ideas. "I'm making it my business."

"No your not," Don said as he set the wrench down a little hard then necessary. He turned and headed for the workbench on the other side of the room. He was going to have to find a new screw. One had almost been stripped raw on the brake lines.

As he pawed around on the workbench, Raph came to stand next to him. "Yes I am."

With a growl of frustration, Donatello turned around and headed for the truck again. He ignored the turtle who followed him back to the vehicle to lean idly against the side while he worked.

After a few minutes of working, Don turned towards the work bench once more only to have his bandana's knot grabbed from behind and pulled. Letting out a hiss of discomfort, he reached one hand up to relieve the stress on his mask as he glared angrily at his tormentor. "Let go of me, Raph."

"Not till ya tell me what's wrong," came the stern reply. Raphael's face clearly stated what he said was true. There was no more running away for Don.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to try. While being the family's pacifist, Donatello had learned many tricks for disarming his opponents without hurting them. Calmly reaching up he gripped his brother's wrist and squeezed on the tendon. The hard Raph held his bandanna the more pain would radiate up his arm.

The desire affect was almost immediate. With a grunt of pain Raphael's grip loosened and Donatello danced back before his brother could try and grab him again. Don knew if Raph was able to get a good grip on him he was as good as caught.

They stood like that watching each other. Don felt jittery for some reason, like he was a scared rabbit looking at a very hungry coyote. He nervously licked his lips as he watched his brother rub his sore wrist then let it go to fall back to his side. As Raph straightened up a sudden desire to run came to his mind and he slowly slid a foot backwards ready to spring towards the hanger's door at a moments notice.

"Donnie-" Raph began as his attention went away from his wrist and to his younger brother. He was startled over the raw emotion he saw on Donatello's face. Why was Don scared of him? "What the shell is wrong with you?" he snapped and took a step forward.

That was all the excuse Don needed to bolt. He ran as though his feet had wings. Donatello wasn't the fastest of his brothers but he was willing to bet that at that moment he would have given all of them a run for their money. He was out the hanger doors and running through the sewers before he could even blink it seemed. He had no idea where this sudden burst of speed came from but relished the fact that he could leave his fears behind.

He didn't really care where he was running to. He just wanted to get away from everything that had happened to him in the past week. He had to get away from the dark images of the future, the separation of his family and the death of his brothers. Even as a small part of his head whispered to him that he couldn't out run what was in his head he continued to push himself to go farther and faster.

Something caught his foot and with a startled cry Donatello hit the ground hard. The gravel scrapped at his plastron and dug into his hands. For a second after he fell he just laid there listening to his shaky gasping breaths. He heard rapid heavy footfalls approaching and tried to stand fearing that this was it. He was finally going to be taken. Fear built up inside him as his muscles protested any form of movement and it was all he could do to raise himself up onto his elbows.

He tried to breath a sigh of relief when Raph fell to his knees next to him breathing heavily but his own breath escaped him. He met Raph's eyes for a brief second and noticed that they were searching his own for something. He quickly turned away. Now that he was done with his strange bid for freedom he was feeling more embarrassed then anything else.

"This was not how I thought the evening was going to go," Raph grumbled as he turned himself to face Don easier. Donatello had finally convinced his body that he needed to get up but it was still refusing to let him stand. "Now, what the shell is wrong with ya?"

"Nothing," Donnie lied as he tried to achieve his feet once again.

"Yeah, right," Raph said as he watched Donnie fall back to his knees. "That's why you haven't been able to sleep and ya just bolted outta the lair like both Shredder and Bishop was after ya."

Donatello gave up trying to stand and rocked back onto his heels. He felt drained, both emotionally and physically, and unable to run any further from the demons trapped in his head. As he tremble with nervous tension he glanced out at their surrounding.

"How'd we get here?"

Raph eyed him with a skeptical look. "Ya ran here, I just followed you to keep you outta trouble."

He didn't like the idea of Raph pointing out the obvious, especially for him. He shook his head in annoyance before glancing around at the abandon tunnel. Even though he knew it was just the two of them he could almost feel like he was being watched by something in the shadows. Biting his lip he said, "Raph? Do you feel like something's watching us?"

Raph wasn't the best at sensing danger but even he could tell that the tunnel was devoid of any life but them. "No," he said really quick and watched as Donnie squeezed his eyes shut. Raph moved then to come around and crouch in front of him. "Don, I know what ever has been bugging you was from when you were sent to where ever by the Time Scepter. Now, what happened?"

"Nothing," Don said as he finally worked his way to his feet. Raph had stood up with him and held his shoulders in a tight yet reassuring grip. "Nothing at all," he insisted and tried to step away only to have Raph's grip hold him still.

"Why won't you tell me," Raph demanded. "What ever is wrong with you obviously is no minor detail." He swept his arm around gesturing at the room at large, "Ya ran all the way here just 'cause I tried to get ya to talk." His hand returned to his shoulder to grip it hard enough that he was sure Raph was going to shake him. "Now tell me what's wrong."

Don shook his head no. He didn't want Raph to know what he saw because he was sure that the older one would say that he should have been sent there and Don didn't want that. For all the toughness and posing his older brother did, Don was sure the knowledge of his disappearance shattering the family would break him. The same thing would happen had Mikey or Leo been standing there badgering him to say what had happened. Actually he was glad that he had gone. Once he was past his paranoia, he would be fine. "I'm fin-" Raph did shake him then. Not hard enough to hurt him but hard enough to startle him. He opened his mouth to tell his brother to let him go but found himself chocking on his own words.

Raph was looking helpless which was a decidingly unsettling look for him. It made him look younger and more innocent. As if the last few years had never happened to him. It was like he was wearing his true expression on his face for once rather then that scowl he always hid behind.

It was the same face the older Raphael had made when he first saw that Donnie was there.

That was what finally broke Don. The knowledge that his brothers' and sensei would never make it without him, that when he came back they would die, and that there would be no future for anyone on earth came crashing down on his shoulders. He hadn't realized he had started to cry on Raphael's shoulder until Raph's hands went from his shoulders to wrap around his shell.

Through his sobbing breaths he told Raph everything. Where he was sent, what had become of the family, what had happened to their friends. Everything. Raph didn't say a word, he just held Don throughout his confession. When it started getting hard for Don to say something, Raph would give him a squeeze of encouragement and lay a comforting hand on the back of his neck.

After the nightmare had been told and Donatello's tears had all but run dry they both stood there in silence. Raph found himself bearing more and more of Donatello's weight as the younger turtle's energy ran out. Part of Raphael was annoyed that Don was so tired that he was all but sitting on Raph's shoulders but another part was glad that Donatello had gotten all that off of his chest. If he had only known what he had gone through he would have confronted Don a lot sooner. Hopefully, now that that had all been said Donatello could get some well deserved rest.

Donatello's knees suddenly buckled and Raph shifted his grip from reassuring to supportive. "Wow there, genius," he said as Don got his feet back under him. "Ya alright?"

Don shook his head against Raph's shoulder. "I'm tired," he complained.

"Let's sit for a bit," Raph suggested only to have Don resist him. He gave the purple banded turtle a half hearted glare which softened when he saw the barely concealed fear in his eyes. "Don't worry, I'm here. Nothing is going to get you on my watch."

To help reassure his brother, Raph glanced around looking for a securable place. Donnie was obviously going to be scared about being alone or being out in the opening for a while. Raph spotted an old subway car partially buried in a cave in. Raph threw one of Donatello's arms over his shoulders and helped the exhausted turtle to the car.

Once they were inside, Raph lied Donatello down on one of the large bench seats. Raph wasn't sure how he could do it but Donnie could sleep anywhere without a problem. He could sleep face down on his desk, across the back of April's couch, and even on a slab of broken concrete so Raph wasn't worried that his brother would find the hard bench uncomfortable. However, when he went to stand back up, Don's hand caught his wrist and pulled on it. "I'm not going anywhere, Don," he said. "I'm going to be right outside."

"Raphie?" Don asked in a small voice that made him sound so much younger.

With a sigh Raphael flopped on the bench next to his brother's head. It took Don barely a second to curl up into his side with his head resting on Raph's thigh. Raph pulled his sai out of his belt and rested it on Donnie's shell so that his brother wouldn't stab himself on it while he slept. Only moments later Donatello slid into a restless sleep and Raphael settled in for the long wait.

A beeping noise woke Don. He wasn't sure what it was but a part of his sleep muddled mind was telling him to wake up and get it. Whatever 'it' was. He assumed it was just one of his alarm clocks telling him he had forty five minutes before practice but as his pillow moved slightly he quickly dismissed that. The quiet 'yeah' from his brother reminded him of what happened the night before.

_Awwww, shell_, he thought to himself.

Raph had jerked awake when his phone had gone off and he was reaching for it when he was only half awake. He hadn't realized he had started dozing and he knew that the tingling in his butt meant it had gone numb long before then. With out bothering to see who was calling he flipped it open. Calls in the middle of the night were always a bad sign. "Yeah?" he said blinking himself awake.

"_Where are you? Is Donnie with you?_" Leo's voice sounded worried bordering on hysteric.

By now Raphael was awake enough to realize that it was seven thirty. Morning training started promptly at seven fifteen. Usually if they weren't at practice on time, they were given five minutes after Splinter yelled at them to get there shells down there. If that didn't work, one of their brothers were sent to wake them up and a penalty would be given by Splinter. They had all learned not to piss off Master Splinter when they were younger.

Splinter must have sent either Leo or Mikey to wake them and, on discovering that they were both gone, panic likely ensued. It did tick Raph off that Leo didn't think that they could handle themselves and he felt the need to show it. "We're fine, Leo. Cool it for once would ya?"

Raph could practically feel the anger being directed to him over the phone. He began to ready himself for a verbal battle with Leo only to hear his sensei's calm voice asking Leonardo for his phone. A second later Splinter's voice came over the receiver. "_Are you both alright, my son_?"

"Yes sensei," Raph said. He felt Don's neck muscles tense on his leg. _So much for trying to let him sleep_, Raph thought bitterly to himself.

"_I assume that you have spoken to Donatello about his trip?_"

Raph blinked. Donatello had said through his choking sobs that he hadn't told anyone what he had been through. "_How?_"

"_This is not the time,_" Raph could hear the smile in his father's voice as he addressed him again. "_Take your time. You are both excused from practice._"

Raph's eyes just about fell out of his head, Splinter was excusing them from practice? That had never happened before. "Sensei?"

"_Watch over him, Raphael. Come home when you're ready._"

"Yes, sensei," Raph said unconsciously giving a small bow as the line was disconnected. He returned the phone to his belt and felt Donatello to move as if to get up. He put pressure on his shell to prevent him from getting up. "Easy, Donnie. Just go back to sleep," Raph coxed as he let his head settle back with a soft thump.

"What about-"

"We're being excused."

"Wait, what?" Donatello didn't try to force his way into a sitting position. Instead he twisted around enough so he could look up at Raphael's face. "We're being excused?"

"Yeah. Sensei knew something has been eating ya since we all got back. We all noticed ya were acting a bit off but never said anything."

Donatello turned his head back around so that he was staring at the opposite wall of the train car. He knew they had seen a difference in him. He had seen a difference in himself. Always jumping at shadows, constantly on guard, checking and rechecking to make sure his family was safe and, more importantly, together. "I'm sorry," he finally said unsure of what else to say.

"No, I'm sorry," Raph closed his eyes that had been staring idly at the ceiling. "I should've cornered ya about this earlier."

"Like when?"

"The first night ya checked in on everyone. Ya made enough noise when ya stumbled to my door that I almost threw a sai at ya."

The first nightmare that Don had had the night they had return was especially gruesome. The nightmare had been him waking to find the entire family slaughtered in their beds. That had him wide awake and checking everyone to make sure they weren't injured every night since then. "Sorry."

"Would ya stop that. There's no harm done. If anything I'm sorry that I wasn't sent th-" Raph was suddenly cut off and his eyes flew open to look shocked at his brother when Donatello bolted upright and glared at him.

"Don't say it, Raph," he warned. "Just don't say it. You know as well as I that it was for the best for me to go." He silenced his brother with a gesture of his hand. "If Mikey had gone he wouldn't be able to let go of any of us for longer then a minute. Leo would have become unbearably overprotective of us until we felt like we were suffocating. And you would have barricaded everyone in their rooms while you constantly patrolled the lair." Raph didn't say it out loud but that would've been what he would have done if he had gone to the future instead of Don. "My only problem is being paranoia about someone taking me away. I can deal with that."

"What about the restless nights and the extra practice?"

"I have to be ready," Don said shifting around so that he was sitting next to his brother instead of kneeling on the bench like he had been. "I have to be ready to stop whoever took me from taking me in the first place."

"Who said you were taken?"

Don leaned forward onto his knees and held his head in both hands, shaking it back and forth a few times. "That's the worst part. I don't know what happened to me. Mikey just said I had vanished."

"I think that future is what happened after the Scepter sent ya away."

"But what if it wasn't?"

"Then ya over thinking things like usual." Donatello laughed at that. "'Sides who said you just vanished?"

"I just-"

"Someone would have seen ya get taken if someone did get ya." Raph gave Don his trademark grin and lightly punched him in the shoulder. "And I don't think any of us would just let someone walk off with ya without giving them a second opinion."

And just like that the tension that had been building over the last few days was gone. Donatello felt his muscles relax for the first time in a week. Silently he chided himself. Of course, his brothers wouldn't just let him be taken and Raph was probably right. Maybe he was over thinking things just a little bit. "Maybe your right," he mumbled with a smile. "Maybe I am just over thinking this."

Raphael snorted, "Of course I'm right. I'm always right." Raph stood and stretched, only satisfied when several pops were admitted from his shoulders and hips. "Now let's go home and eat some waffles." Ever since Michelangelo took over the kitchen he always made waffles on Wednesdays.

Raphael had just stepped out of the train car when Donatello called him back. He looked over his shoulder to see Don standing in the middle of the car looking a little sheepish. "I… Ummm… You see…"

"Spill it," Raph told him as he turned around and put his fists on his hips.

"Well… The electromagnetic for the train car is most likely still intact and I was wondering if you would help me get it out and take it home." Donnie watched as Raph's face went from confused to exasperate to almost smug.

"Welcome back, braniac," was all he had to say.

_Let's hear it up for Raph's soft side!_

_(A sai flies millimeters past my nose to land with a thud in the wall."_

_Or not._


End file.
